An Aussieopian Family

E is for Ethiopia...

I heard about this book tonight and have ordered a copy through AACASA.  It looks great, an ABC picture book with Ethiopian pictures...Have a look here

reader question...

I would appreciate your help.  I have put this question out to the different chat groups I am on and thought I should ask here as well.

In my endeavour to make our wait time productive I have decided to start writing an information sheet for our family and friends.  If you can help with any tips or advice regarding the topics below that would be great or any additional topics you think should be included.  I would love to hear about the experiences of your families and friends with regard to your adoption.

The topics I plan to cover are:
Facts about Ethiopia
The process we are going through
What to expect –
Before we travel
On pickup
Coming Home
First Days
First Weeks
First Months
First Year
Behaviours to expect, symptoms to watch for re: attachment problems
How adoptive parenting is different to biological parenting
Preparing our child for racism/negative comments/insidious passive racism
Correct adoption language – modelling behaviour
Our child’s history – right to privacy
Questions you may be asked and how to answer them
Articles to read

Thanks

166 chicken legs later...

that's how much Doro Wat we made over the weekend.  The reason for so much Doro...it was the annual picnic of our adoption support group AACASA.  We (ie me and my trusty band of Doro cooks) fed 105 people a delicious meal of Doro Wat, Misser Wat (red lentils), Alicha vegies and injera. 

These get togethers are good for the soul as well as the tummy.  We caught up with old friends and made new ones.  It is always so encouraging to see newly formed families together.  The wait is really taking its toll on most of us and to be able to share that and to see people who have done the wait who are now with their kids takes some of the stress away.  I was able to steal a few cuddles with some very gorgeous littlies.

I say one thing...

and do another.  I am full of contradictions.  I keep saying that because I am finding the wait for our adoption particularly difficult at the moment I am going to switch off and not think about it too much.  But I can't.  I am thinking about our faceless, nameless babies all the time. 

Even when I am doing something else my thoughts always come back to them; who are they? when will they be born? are they born? what is going to happen to them to bring them to us?  I worry that this continual thread in my mind is taking me away from my beautiful sons, am I giving them my full attention, giving them all of me or am I holding back because I have this sadness in my heart all the time?

I was getting Emmett into the bath the other night and all of a sudden I felt like busting into tears.  I realised I have everything that a lot of women want.  I am surrounded by the most beautiful boys.  I said to Emmett, "Mummy needs a kiss and cuddle" and as I drank in his smell and the feel of his n*aked little body I was overwhelmed, overwhelmed with a sadness for our future babies. 

I feel incredibly selfish that even though we have children I want more and I feel guilty to be even feeling sad when we have so much.  I certainly don't talk about this to most people, only a few trusted friends in the adoption group and I don't want to sound like I am complaining.  We knew fully the wait to expect.  What I didn't expect was to be in love with children I don't know.

I found this quote today, it comes from an article by Anna Quindlen called " On Losing Your Mother", published nearly 10 years ago.  You will find the link at Building the Ark ...

"What does it mean to sleep beneath the heart of another person, safe and warm, for almost a year? No scientist can truly say. But it must have some visceral power that we cannot really understand, only intuit."

Mother's Day presents just keep getting better...

I love the fact that now the kids are at school they choose and purchase their presents for me on their own from the Mother's Day stall.  Don't misunderstand me I have gotten lovely gifts, but they were proper gifts, ones that Brad purchased, wraped nicely and gave to the boys to give me.  But now I get fantastic gifts like...

• a fly swatter with a flower on it (Noah and Emmett were pretending to be flies so they could swat each other)
• a bright orange face washer and a small brown Kookaburra figurine (presented together obviously)
• a pretty watering can decoration on a stake to go in the garden (there is no garden, we have no water, it is a drought people)
• 2 watering can (love the water/garden theme) ornaments with a spike to hold photos (not 2 on purpose, Connor got in the car last week and said to Noah "Oh Noah you bought the same thing as me!!!!!"
• 2 plastic key chain charms (unfortunately broken already)
• 2 cross-stitch patterns

I did get "proper" gifts, but I know what I will remember long into the future.

Here is my official Mother's Day portrait.  I have them from each year...priceless

Learn Amharic or Signing or both?...

This is becoming an important question and I am really in a dilemma. 

First of all I didn't know that you could use sign language with your kiddies before they can talk and be able to communicate very effectively.  We didn't use it for the boys and I have only learnt about it from reading international blogs.  I don't even know if anyone in Australia does it, I suppose they do, I don't know everything (please don't let Brad know I have acknowledged this, I will deny it).

Secondly we have begun learning Amharic.  We are not concentrating on it 100% but I think when our file goes to Ethiopia (that will be just before H*ell freezes over) we will begin in ernest.  But saying that and doing it to a standard that we will need for our trip, not to mention a little thing like talking to our kids is two different things.  Also our kids could very well not understand Amharic.

If our babies are not really little, have some language and are talking are we able to teach them signing?  I have come across this site Signing Baby, perhaps I should ask her these questions.  Do any of you know?

So should we learn enough Amharic to get by?  You know simple things to say to comfort our babies, to ask them what they want and to be able to show respect when we are in Ethiopia by making an attempt to communicate.  Or should we do both, learn Amharic and signing?  What do you think?

I'm back...

...and look at who has been visiting me...Melissa Fay Greene.  How great to get a comment from her.  Thanks for visiting Melissa, even though I have been very slack, not writing for ages. 

I have to admit it has been a bit of self preservation really.  I needed to switch off from thinking so much about our adoption because the wait has been a bit hard lately.  So I have filled my time since I wrote by going camping twice, doing lots of work for the school fete and just enjoying my sons and their activities. 

But now I must catch up on all my favourite blogs...first stop Holding Still because they must be home by now, then Shelba to see how crafty she has been lately, American Family is next to check up on L, M, Mr A and A, I also need a dose of cuteness in the form of Hayat at Babyssinia and the adorable triplets at Ethiopian Tripletland.  I have heaps of reading to do.